Friday, December 09, 2005
Pulsing red
I am choking.
Choking beneath the waves of emotion crashing against the sands of my heart. My breathing is shallow and my mind is racing. Is this really it? Is this how life really is? Everyone has such high expectations of me. Everyone. Im sorry, but I have nothing to show for it. Im sorry for the heartaches Ive caused. Im sorry for completely losing it, when I should've been calm. Im sorry that my rage terrifies you. It is completely beyond my control. My temper is too quick and my blood boils too easily.
But this is me. And theres nothing I can do about it.
Choking beneath the waves of emotion crashing against the sands of my heart. My breathing is shallow and my mind is racing. Is this really it? Is this how life really is? Everyone has such high expectations of me. Everyone. Im sorry, but I have nothing to show for it. Im sorry for the heartaches Ive caused. Im sorry for completely losing it, when I should've been calm. Im sorry that my rage terrifies you. It is completely beyond my control. My temper is too quick and my blood boils too easily.
But this is me. And theres nothing I can do about it.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
August Serenade
If you disappeared
Or even if you turned into a cat or a caterpillar
At first I'd cry a lot
But maybe eventually it'd make a good story
So today, let's talk a little longer
On the phone than usual
I feel a bit guilty
So I'll be nicer to you...
If you and I became friends
And you gave me advice like you knew what you were talking about
I'd nonchalantly
Use it and then throw it in the trash
So today, let's take a walk
At night the streets are empty
The moonlight makes most things
Look prettier...
So today, let's talk a little longer
On the phone than usual
I feel a bit guilty
So I'll be nicer to you...
So today, let's take a walk
At night the streets are empty
The moonlight makes most things
Look prettier...
Suga Shikao -Hachi Gatsu no Serenade
Or even if you turned into a cat or a caterpillar
At first I'd cry a lot
But maybe eventually it'd make a good story
So today, let's talk a little longer
On the phone than usual
I feel a bit guilty
So I'll be nicer to you...
If you and I became friends
And you gave me advice like you knew what you were talking about
I'd nonchalantly
Use it and then throw it in the trash
So today, let's take a walk
At night the streets are empty
The moonlight makes most things
Look prettier...
So today, let's talk a little longer
On the phone than usual
I feel a bit guilty
So I'll be nicer to you...
So today, let's take a walk
At night the streets are empty
The moonlight makes most things
Look prettier...
Suga Shikao -Hachi Gatsu no Serenade
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Enlightenment?
Somehow I feel that my quest for happiness will never succeed. After reaching another dead end, its probably better that I rid myself of this notion for good, and instead focus on self sustenance. I guess its alright not be happy, but merely survive. Perhaps then I'll truly learn to appreciate the smaller things in life that I've taken for granted all these years.
But is this really ok?
But is this really ok?
